Post by Fickle81 on Dec 28, 2005 3:38:19 GMT -5
Styx:Whoever said their music was like "a parking lot full of whale vomit" were dead on.
REO Speedwagon:The whale vomit comment applies here as well...only with an annoyingly high pitched singer.
Journey:Proof that musical ability and good sound don't always mean a good band. 80% of their song catalog are power ballads...even songs that most people or the band don't see as power ballads ARE IN FACT power ballads. Sure they have a couple good non power ballad songs (like Wheels in the Sky),but those are too few and far in between. What really sealed the deal for my hate of them is seeing that ridiculous video for Seperate Ways (which of course,is a power ballad that people don't think it is) in which the band members play air instruments like a bunch of buttnuggets.
The Darkness:No matter how much you strut around and sway like a woman shirtless...no matter how high pitched your voice is or how you fluctuate it...no matter how many laughable and stupid seduction face contorts you make...you are STILL not NOR WILL YOU EVER BE Freddy Mercury. Give it the fuck up already. I've only heard one song from them (and seen the shitty video for said song) and that was all I needed to hear.
Any and all hair bands:Do I REALLY need to get into this?
My Chemical Romance:Pure Emo crap. If only Beavis and Butthead were still around to rip this shit to shreads.
Hawthorne Heights:Their wussburger sound and lead singer make me want to disembowel puppies...
Good Charlotte:Eddie Vedder nailed it perfectly. They are "the music equavelent of getting a popsicle shoved up your ass."
The Offspring:They used to be so good. I loved their first two albums...then they turned to shit. Anybody that still listens to them should be severely caned.
Korn:See above...
Jimmy Eat World:Like with The Darkness,one song was all I needed to hear...and that was the homosexual anthem The Middle. I'd be willing to go all in that Slasher Freak would love this song if he doesn't already. Its the perfect thing to listen to for homosexual men while assfucking. The song's rhythm and tempo,the pitch and fluctuation of the vocals,the lyrics,the tuning and sound of the song...all of it SCREAMS homosexual male sex. Even Howard Stern said the song was absolutly perfect for that sort of occation. Not saying theres anything wrong with that,but that doesn't mean I like it or will listen to it...especially if all I can mentally picture while listening to it is homosexual male sex...*SHUDDERS*
The Beatles:Its actually more the fans that turn me off to them rather than their songs,sound,or musical ability (which I'm not really a fan of either. More on that in a second). They act like you're not supposed to say one bad thing about their precious Beatles,and if you do,then you obviously must know nothing about music and that you should be burned at the stake for being a heretic in not worshipping the almighty Beatles. These are also the same people that try to say that The Beatles have so many more #1 hits than anyone else,like that means anything reguarding how good they are. Wake up morons! They could have all the song writting ability,talent,and revolutionary ideas (although I wouldn't call putting pitches and sounds only dogs can hear in songs revolutionary...just stupid) in the world...it still doesn't change the fact that their overall sound is SOME OF THE BLANDEST MOST BORING SHIT I'VE EVER HEARD...and this is coming from a trained musician who at one point in his life ate,slept,and breathed music (although its more movies now). I'm not saying they don't have any good songs...I do like songs like Revolution,While My Guitar Gently Weeps,and Come Together...but those 3 songs don't make the band great,don't cover up the rest of their bland material,and doesn't warrent all the blind praise (which overshadows how good those 3 songs are). Thats like saying Wes Craven is a great filmmaker because he managed to make a few great films out of several mediocre or bad ones.
The Foo Fighters:See The Offspring & Korn
Dave Mathews Band:See The Offspring,Korn & The Foo Fighters...except replace the word "two" with "three" in how many of their previous albums I loved.
Lenny Kravitz:After listening to his older superior and more old school material,I have concluded that Lenny Kravitz has become a sell out with his weak more commercial material.
Thats all I can think of off the top of my head...I'm sure I missed plenty. I'll update if I think of any more.
REO Speedwagon:The whale vomit comment applies here as well...only with an annoyingly high pitched singer.
Journey:Proof that musical ability and good sound don't always mean a good band. 80% of their song catalog are power ballads...even songs that most people or the band don't see as power ballads ARE IN FACT power ballads. Sure they have a couple good non power ballad songs (like Wheels in the Sky),but those are too few and far in between. What really sealed the deal for my hate of them is seeing that ridiculous video for Seperate Ways (which of course,is a power ballad that people don't think it is) in which the band members play air instruments like a bunch of buttnuggets.
The Darkness:No matter how much you strut around and sway like a woman shirtless...no matter how high pitched your voice is or how you fluctuate it...no matter how many laughable and stupid seduction face contorts you make...you are STILL not NOR WILL YOU EVER BE Freddy Mercury. Give it the fuck up already. I've only heard one song from them (and seen the shitty video for said song) and that was all I needed to hear.
Any and all hair bands:Do I REALLY need to get into this?
My Chemical Romance:Pure Emo crap. If only Beavis and Butthead were still around to rip this shit to shreads.
Hawthorne Heights:Their wussburger sound and lead singer make me want to disembowel puppies...
Good Charlotte:Eddie Vedder nailed it perfectly. They are "the music equavelent of getting a popsicle shoved up your ass."
The Offspring:They used to be so good. I loved their first two albums...then they turned to shit. Anybody that still listens to them should be severely caned.
Korn:See above...
Jimmy Eat World:Like with The Darkness,one song was all I needed to hear...and that was the homosexual anthem The Middle. I'd be willing to go all in that Slasher Freak would love this song if he doesn't already. Its the perfect thing to listen to for homosexual men while assfucking. The song's rhythm and tempo,the pitch and fluctuation of the vocals,the lyrics,the tuning and sound of the song...all of it SCREAMS homosexual male sex. Even Howard Stern said the song was absolutly perfect for that sort of occation. Not saying theres anything wrong with that,but that doesn't mean I like it or will listen to it...especially if all I can mentally picture while listening to it is homosexual male sex...*SHUDDERS*
The Beatles:Its actually more the fans that turn me off to them rather than their songs,sound,or musical ability (which I'm not really a fan of either. More on that in a second). They act like you're not supposed to say one bad thing about their precious Beatles,and if you do,then you obviously must know nothing about music and that you should be burned at the stake for being a heretic in not worshipping the almighty Beatles. These are also the same people that try to say that The Beatles have so many more #1 hits than anyone else,like that means anything reguarding how good they are. Wake up morons! They could have all the song writting ability,talent,and revolutionary ideas (although I wouldn't call putting pitches and sounds only dogs can hear in songs revolutionary...just stupid) in the world...it still doesn't change the fact that their overall sound is SOME OF THE BLANDEST MOST BORING SHIT I'VE EVER HEARD...and this is coming from a trained musician who at one point in his life ate,slept,and breathed music (although its more movies now). I'm not saying they don't have any good songs...I do like songs like Revolution,While My Guitar Gently Weeps,and Come Together...but those 3 songs don't make the band great,don't cover up the rest of their bland material,and doesn't warrent all the blind praise (which overshadows how good those 3 songs are). Thats like saying Wes Craven is a great filmmaker because he managed to make a few great films out of several mediocre or bad ones.
The Foo Fighters:See The Offspring & Korn
Dave Mathews Band:See The Offspring,Korn & The Foo Fighters...except replace the word "two" with "three" in how many of their previous albums I loved.
Lenny Kravitz:After listening to his older superior and more old school material,I have concluded that Lenny Kravitz has become a sell out with his weak more commercial material.
Thats all I can think of off the top of my head...I'm sure I missed plenty. I'll update if I think of any more.