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Post by Fickle81 on Jun 5, 2006 8:25:08 GMT -5
www.joblo.com/arrow/index.php?id=4367Alright...I've always wanted to see the sequence of Myers escaping the asylum as a montage with Tuesdays Gone playing over the sound...or maybe something from The Doobie Brothers this time? While I thought The Devil's Rejects was dumb exploitative fun,I'm not feelin this...
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ite
Untouchable
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Post by ite on Jun 25, 2006 17:44:33 GMT -5
You think it has any chance to be good Kef?
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Post by Fickle81 on Jun 25, 2006 20:51:01 GMT -5
You think it has any chance to be good Kef? Meh...not much...HO1KC sucks balls...and while I like TDR as dumb exploitation fun entertainment,it really isn't that great of a movie...in terms of his directorial style,he's gonna have to make some MONUMENTAL changes in order for it to work. |
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Prozium
Untouchable
+1 to the my age
Posts: 74
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Post by Prozium on Jul 4, 2006 0:06:34 GMT -5
Seriously, fuck Rob Zombie. It isn't because he is remaking Halloween because I couldn't care less about remakes. I just think he is incredibly overrated in the horror community. House was a piece of shit and the Devil's Rejects [though an improvment] wasn't all that great either. I find the dialogue in Zombie films to be incredibly stupid. The whole "I am the devil and I am hear to do the devil's work" bit was incredibly stupid and actually had me laughing out loud. All the vulgar languange seems unnatural and forced. If he makes another movie, his wife better have nothing to do with it. Horror movies aren't known for their acting but man is she horrible. She's nice to look at but other than that I hope never to see her in another film again. Her acting is incredibly plastic.
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Post by Fickle81 on Jul 4, 2006 0:38:01 GMT -5
If he makes another movie, his wife better have nothing to do with it. Horror movies aren't known for their acting but man is she horrible. She's nice to look at but other than that I hope never to see her in another film again. Her acting is incredibly plastic. STFU faget   ;D  |
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Prozium
Untouchable
+1 to the my age
Posts: 74
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Post by Prozium on Jul 4, 2006 3:58:36 GMT -5
Yeah, I don't think you're kef for some reason. For one, you spelled faggot wrong. Unless you've Kef's really lost it. |
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Post by Fickle81 on Jul 4, 2006 20:36:42 GMT -5
Yeah, I don't think you're kef for some reason. For one, you spelled faggot wrong. Unless you've Kef's really lost it. Just wanted to see what it was like to use the logic of certain individuals who like certain actresses,models,pornstars,etc just because they're hot...meaning anybody that doesn't like them based on lack of talent must be a fag...I thought about including the dancing banana,but opted not to on the grounds that it annoys me... |
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Prozium
Untouchable
+1 to the my age
Posts: 74
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Post by Prozium on Jul 4, 2006 20:41:14 GMT -5
Yeah, I don't think you're kef for some reason. For one, you spelled faggot wrong. Unless you've Kef's really lost it. Just wanted to see what it was like to use the logic of certain individuals who like certain actresses,models,pornstars,etc just because they're hot...meaning anybody that doesn't like them based on lack of talent must be a fag...I thought about including the dancing banana,but opted not to on the grounds that it annoys me... Ah...I see. Had you included the dancing banana I would have known right away. |
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iamlegend
Untouchable
Go Fuck Yourself
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Post by iamlegend on Mar 9, 2007 19:30:26 GMT -5
aside from the fact that you both are complete idiots...............
this movie has Sybil Danning, Adriane Barbeau, and Dee Wallace in it.
that reason alone makes it worth seeing.
you morons.
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iamlegend
Untouchable
Go Fuck Yourself
Posts: 93
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Post by iamlegend on Mar 9, 2007 19:36:27 GMT -5
Plus, it has a child star who much resembles Kefka when he was kid and locked up in an asylum  |
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Post by Fickle81 on Mar 9, 2007 23:03:20 GMT -5
aside from the fact that you both are complete idiots............... this movie has Sybil Danning, Adriane Barbeau, and Dee Wallace in it. that reason alone makes it worth seeing. you morons. I'm impressed you typed that out all with 1 hand,while using the other to gently massage Rob Zombie's cock and balls... Plus, it has a child star who much resembles Kefka when he was kid and locked up in an asylum I didn't have long hair when I was a kid nor did I spend time in any asylum...next incorrect assumption please... Thanks for confirming my suspicions that you were The Sun King though... |
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iamlegend
Untouchable
Go Fuck Yourself
Posts: 93
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Post by iamlegend on Mar 9, 2007 23:29:11 GMT -5
not only do i massage Zombies cock and balls all the time, i will now, for this one time only, massage yours, and confirm what you already knew anyway:  a fun game would be to see if you can guess who I am now on BD. ill be honest and admit it if you guess correctly and provide at least some type of good reason why you suspect it is me. (it aint a trick, as you well know i always have some pseudo-legend lurking around there) |
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Post by Fickle81 on Mar 10, 2007 22:40:29 GMT -5
not only do i massage Zombies cock and balls all the time, i will now, for this one time only, massage yours, and confirm what you already knew anyway: Didn't you already confirm that one? Or am I thinking of a different one? You're more than free to massage Zombie's dick and testicles...but I have yet to see any real good reason to because so far he is coming off as a one trick pony,not to mention a bad writter... a fun game would be to see if you can guess who I am now on BD. ill be honest and admit it if you guess correctly and provide at least some type of good reason why you suspect it is me. (it aint a trick, as you well know i always have some pseudo-legend lurking around there) Nothing has jumped out at me yet,so I'm not gonna attempt it...you being The Sun King didn't hit me immediatly either...and I don't care per se as much as I find it funny that you would continue to go back there after being banned...as I have shown,the way to really get under their skin is to shit on them from a distance,because being in their presence gives them a feeling of satisfaction because it's implied that you can't live without being a part of the board... |
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Post by Fickle81 on Aug 15, 2007 22:50:06 GMT -5
*Blows the dust off this thread
Can somebody tell me why in the goddamn fuck am I seeing Halloween 4 footage in a new flash ad advertising the original Carpenter's Halloween to go along with the release of Zombie's Halloween?
Oh yea,and with everything I've heard and seen so far,my expectations for Zombie's Halloween are so low that it's probably swiming in skin melting hot magma...it's a download at the very best.
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Post by Fickle81 on Aug 29, 2007 13:28:00 GMT -5
Well,I watched the workprint...and good fucking lord was it ever fucking terrible. I had some pretty low expectations and expected it to be bad,but I never in my wildest imagination ever thought that it could be this horrible. It even managed to do what I thought would be impossible,and thats make House of a Thousand Corpses look good,and if you take into consideration how much I dislike that shitheap,thats saying a lot! Hell,even Halloween 5:The Revenge of Michael Myers AND Halloween Resurrection are better than this! Yea,it's that bad...Zombie actually came pretty damn close to being on par with Paul Anderson's shitty writting with this.
SPOILERS!
-Why the fuck does that fucking fucker faggot fuck Zombie fucking feel the fucking need to fucking have his fucking fucks for fucking characters fucking swear every other fucking word in fucking every fucking single fucking one of their fucking sentences? For fucking fucks sakes,why does that fucking fuck faggot fucker fuck Zombie fucking write fucking dialogue like some fucking repressed fucking 14 fucking year old fucking faggot juvenile whose fucking parents fucking forbid that fucking faggot of a fucking fucker fuck to fucking curse? Is this his fucking way for that faggot fucker fucking fuck to fucking swear as much as he fucking wants? That fucking shit fucking gets fucking real fucking old real fucking fast.
Believe it or not,the swearing wasn't as excessive as Devil's Rejects and calmed down after the opening,but still.
-Why would Michael's mom put up with Ronnie's shit? Why would she even marry him? With the way the dialogue was worded,it sounded like Ronnie wasn't getting any workman's comp and that Michael's mom was making all the money,so what was the point of keeping him in the house? Especially when he was not only openly saying he would probably cheat,but was also eyeballing Judith's ass.
-Judith's boyfriend brought that mask over? Thats...pretty lame...even more fucking lame that he actually fucking wanted to fucking fuck her with the fucking mask over his fucking face...great fucking writting there Zombie,you fucking faggot fuck fucker...ok,I'm done with that joke now.
-There are some real blind motherfuckers in this movie (part 1)...apparently Judith's boyfriend didn't notice Ronnie's dead body in the chair with blood probably all over the place (to be continued in part 2)...
-Myers' escape from the nuthouse...good lord. So you're just gonna barge right into the cell of a large serial killer and egg him on while you rape some bitch? How fucking stupid are you? Do you WANT to die? And apparently some fucknut in a position of authority thought that 2 lousy orderlys was good enough security for the night shift? Utterly brillient,Zombie...(NOTE:This is actually one of the things thats been confirmed to have been reshot)
-There are some real blind motherfuckers in this movie (part 2)...apparently nobody at the truck wash noticed a big hunkin guy with dirty ass feet wearing a mask and a robe just walk right into the bathroom (to be continued in part 3)...
-...Not to mention that apparently nobody else outside could hear all the comotion in the bathroom.
-"I'm Joe Grizzly,bitch!"
-Laurie's mom encourages Laurie's whorish behaviour? Alrightie then...
-So...the knife that Michael used to kill Ronnie and Judith is still at the house after all those years? The police didn't even bother to search the house for it? I mean,I figured that would be a pretty important thing to find,seeing as how it's a FUCKING MURDER WEAPON!
-There are some real blind motherfuckers in this movie (part 3)...apparently Laurie nor Tommy noticed Michael standing right in front of the door through the top door window...
-What the fuck was with Loomis' speech? Was he trying to be scary with his tone and his eyes? That was silly as shit. And I thought he had "moved on" from Myers? If he really moved on,he wouldn't have wrote a book about it...tell ya what,we'll get back to Loomis in a minute,cause I'm not finished with Zombie's horrible version of him by a long shot.
-All 3 girls really were a bunch of whores...seriously,ALL 3 OF THEM (yes,even "pristine pure" Laurie) make Lynda's antics in the original look like that of a school girl. Was that Rob's idea of getting the audience to sympathize with them? Cause...it didn't work...at all...
-Zombie showed Myers WAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY too much...and without the car,he loses A LOT of the stealth that made his instances of being out in public in his full costume plausable. Here he walks everywhere...and yet,he's not noticed? And why the FUCK did Laurie not point him out to the other 2 girls when she saw him staring at her through the window not once,but twice?
-"He's been like a comotose kiddie for 15 years."...um...WHAT?! Do you SERIOUSLY call somebody who MAKES MASKS "comotose"? Jesus,it's like Zombie doesn't even know the meaning of the words he's using in his dialogue...comotose means a vegetative state,which requires pretty much ZERO movement. And this was a fucking response to Loomis saying that he DID warn people about Myers when he was told that "if the security wasn't sufficient,you should have warned us"? Oh my fucking god...
-Myers killing the Strodes was one hell of a waste of fucking time...
-Whats the point of all the "boogie man" dialogue when Myers ain't the same? In the original it had a purpose...because Michael was basically supernatural death on 2 legs...here he's just an escaped asylum inmate with an abusive childhood who's looking for his sister.
-Danielle Harris dryhumping Scout Taylor-Compton? What the fuck,Zombie? Is THIS why I'm supposed to see this crap with an open mind? Cause I got news for ya...I saw it with an open mind,and it was STILL fucking stupid and childish.
-Let me see if I understand this correctly...Myers stares at Annie through the window,then sneaks into the house in which she and Lindsy are in,sneaks out just as Annie is coming into the room,then BACKTRACKS all the way to his old house,where Lynda and her boyfriend JUST HAPPEN to be going into? Are you fucking serious?
-The best fucking kill in the original (Lynda's boyfriend getting pinned to the wall with a butcher knife) was nonexistent here.
-Myers COAXES Lynda over to him by litterally waving the beer with his hands? Are you shitting me up the ass? And how the hell could she NOT tell that the guy in front of her with the sheet over him wasn't her boyfriend based on the huge fucking height difference?
-LOL@Bracket ousting Loomis' real reasons for writting the book about Myers that Loomis couldn't even argue against. Zombie's version of Loomis is quite the douchebag.
-Laurie has a limp from just her being grabbed and pulled back by Myers?
-Is there some reason why Myers didn't kill Annie?
-If Myers was perceptive enough to coax Lynda into taking the beer from his hand by waving it,then why in the hell did he just give the picture to Laurie,as if she would just suddenly remember that she is the baby in the picture and that the boy holding her is her brother and also the killer standing before her? Did it ever occur to him to simply POINT at the baby in the picture,then point at Laurie to indicate that shes the baby in the picture,then do the same thing for himself? Christ,how fucking stupid is Zombie?
-So Myers is just gonna stand there while Laurie tries to get out of the pool,huh? What a shitload of fucking idiocy.
-Correct me if I'm wrong,but don't you see Loomis RUNNING down the street to the Myers house? Thats what you see right? So then explain to me how he suddenly has a police car waiting in the front after his confrontation with Myers after saving Laurie? Yea,there were 2 cop cars in the distance in the direction that he was running,but you're telling me that those cars were unoccupied or that the cops would simply let him take a car without supervision?
-"Was that the boogie man?" "As a matter of fact...I DO believe it was."
-Apparently the Haddonfield police have no problem shooting an unarmed assailant after the individual has released his hostage,dropped his weapon,and has barely even moved an inch forward. Oh wait,I forgot,this is Michael Myers we're dealing with,right?
-That last shot that attempted to gain the viewers sympathy for Myers was hamfisted as fuck and beyond lame. (NOTE:This is actually one of the things thats been confirmed to have been reshot)
Combine ALL that with the cliche abusive upbringing,the 7ft tall Myers,the nonexistent feeling of tension,and the overall unfocused feel,and you've got one shittastic clusterfuck fest of a diarrhea pile...so can I say ANYTHING good about this crap?
-Sherri Moon not only managed NOT to embarras herself (with the exception of her pole dancing to Love Hurts),but she was actually pretty good in this movie...there might be hope for her yet.
-Since you really don't give a shit about anybody in this movie,theres amusement to be had by watching their deaths...I especially got some pleasure in watching the bulley get beaten to death with a large tree branch.
-Large body count
-Some of the dialogue and situations are amusing in the "so bad it's good" sense.
Hands down,this is Zombie's worst movie to date...Jesus lapdancing Christ,what a piece of shit...anybody who sees this and actually thinks it's a good movie has a taste in movies equivalent to a dirty fucking public toilet with a taco deluxe load in it...
1.5/5
Now,I know what you're thinking right now..."But Kefka,it's just a workprint. It's not the complete version that will be released in the theaters this friday." I'm well aware of that,thanks...I also have the following 2 rebuttals to that:
#1:This workprint can actually be considered the director's cut,which means that this is Rob Zombie's ORIGINAL vision for the movie and what he intially wanted to release before the studio made him change some things (believe me,this is a case where studio interference is actually a GOOD thing,although not by much...see next point).
#2:The BEST this movie can hope for with its differences is an increase of probably half a point in my rating...a point AT THE VERY MOST. The only way that this movie will substantially improve is if a WHOLE DIFFERENT movie were shot using a WHOLE DIFFERENT script,and the chances of that are pretty much non existent.
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