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Post by Fickle81 on Aug 29, 2005 22:33:23 GMT -5
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Post by bungle on Aug 31, 2005 8:19:46 GMT -5
The Star Wars Episode III review was pretty damn funny...
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Post by Red Spyder on Sept 3, 2005 13:18:43 GMT -5
Greeting cards you wish you could buy.
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xcentricksalo
Untouchable
" you got what you deserved you bastard"
Posts: 42
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Post by xcentricksalo on Sept 22, 2005 6:06:59 GMT -5
I loved the classic Kids shitty Art #1 and #2 of course....
Websense article... Bill O'Reilly is a big blubbering vagina and yes the Star Wars one had me in stitches... oh also the one about beating your kids! that man is truly one of the funniest people ever... back on BD there was maddox1, is taht him or a wannabe???
-XS
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Post by Fickle81 on Sept 27, 2005 19:30:35 GMT -5
The Maddox store/Katrina donation results are in: www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=katrinaApparently now he won't read e-mails without the subject line "To his majesty, the honorable Maddox" until October 1st...that would be funny if somebody sent him something with that subject line that turned out to be an e-mail asking when the long awaited next update will be...
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xcentricksalo
Untouchable
" you got what you deserved you bastard"
Posts: 42
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Post by xcentricksalo on Sept 30, 2005 7:45:20 GMT -5
The Maddox store/Katrina donation results are in: www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=katrinaApparently now he won't read e-mails without the subject line "To his majesty, the honorable Maddox" until October 1st...that would be funny if somebody sent him something with that subject line that turned out to be an e-mail asking when the long awaited next update will be... Hehe yeah... I wait so long for his updates! The man is genius! But when he updates.... they are good, so worth the wait
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Post by Fickle81 on Nov 12, 2005 20:37:18 GMT -5
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Post by Fickle81 on Jun 20, 2006 0:37:31 GMT -5
Where's that update you promissed last Monday that you said would be up by the end of that week,Maddox? Lyin bastard...
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Post by Fickle81 on Nov 21, 2006 10:15:12 GMT -5
I've been meaning to do this for awhile. Here are some of my favorite excerpts from The Alphabet of Manliness:
Time for a pop quiz: What's more awesome than a lumberjack punching Santa in the face? (A) Nothing, or (B) All of the above. I gave this quiz to my friend's wife, and she got the wrong answer. She kept asking questions like "what's so cool about Santa getting punched in the face? That's not cool, that's mean." Wrong answer, bitch. The reason she doesn't "get it" is the same reason all women don't get it: Men invented ass kicking along with chainsaws, beef jerky, and happiness.
Odin is the manliest of all mythological gods. Nobody even comes close to Odin. Thor? Please. Zeus? Get the fuck out of my office. Zeus was possibly the biggest pussy in all of mythology. His specialty was to roll over and take it in the corn hole. Lesser gods such as Ares, Poseidon, and his bitch wife, Hera, were always pushing Zeus around and walking all over him. The only thing Zeus ever did was turn people into rocks or mountains, and he could hurl an occasional lightning bolt. Ooo, a lightning bolt! Oh no, not that, anything but a lightning bolt! Look out, Zeus the all powerful will smite you just as long as you aren't standing next to a long pole.
After she gave birth, she brought her new son over to show off one day, and that's when I offered to hold him. She was delighted that I had apparently warmed up to kids, so she handed me her son, still feeding on his bottle. When she wasn't looking, I popped open his bottle cap and filled it full of chorizo. The baby seemed like he was loving it at first, but suddenly he started crying, so I did what I always do when babies cry: I put him in the garbage can. His mom started yelling and screaming, then she tried to punch me, so I stepped to the side and she accidentally tripped and fell down four flights of stairs, and then she accidentally got peed on.
One time I dumped a woman, and she didn't take it too well. I told her to stop crying because I only had one roll of toilet paper left. This only made he cry more, so I went downstairs and made myself a sandwich. When she came downstairs to see what I was doing, she had snot running down her nose, so I lost my appetite. Of course, I asked her to reimburse me for the cost of the sandwich that I was no longer going to eat, at which point she exploded even louder. It seemed like no matter what I did, she'd keep crying and begging me to take her back. I finally got tired of it, so I told her that if she took my videos back to the rental store, we could talk. By the time she came back, I had turned off the lights and pretended I wasn't home.
Not much is known about Chuck Norris's childhood. Chuck Norris has no mother, as crawling out of a vagina is unbecoming of a man of his stature. Chuck spontaneously came into existence on Karl Marx's birthday. This was no coincidence since Chuck Norris is the polar opposite of communism; he is the yang to communism's yin, and the very thought of a political theory that suggests that people should have their own means of production in a classless society makes Chuck Norris want to puke.
You may be thinking "what's the big deal, it's just a penis, grow up!" No. You grow up. Think about it: You're filling your eyes full of photons that have bounced off another man's penis. Thos photons carry with them some amount of cock. You wouldn't fill your eyes full of eye drops that had been bounced off another man's dick, so why make an exception for quantum packets of light?
Most smut is banned from minors because of the irreparable harm it causes to them. You may be wondering what kind of harm it causes, or even if evidence of this harm exists. Suffice it to say that there is a lot of evidence linking teenagers who view pornography with a wide array of harmful conditions such as sex addiction, rape, serial homicide, money laundering, tax evasion, obesity, poor grades, narcolepsy, goiters, neuromuscular joint disorder, impotence, acne, Indian tick fever, and bad breath. Scientists haven't even begun to scratch the surface of all the negative side effects caused by pornography, but there exists mountains of research on it, so that's that.
The reason women don't like the idea of men watching porn during relationships is because women feel like they have to compete with porn, when in fact, there's no competition. Porn always wins. Porn doesn't complain about her co-workers asking why she's walking with a limp the next day, it doesn't cry if you lose your balance and knock over her stupid alarm clock (what kind of grown woman has a Hello Kitty alarm clock anyway?) and it doesn't get pissy like a woman does when you tell her to use the payphone down the street to call for a cab after sex.
Not to be confused with an excretory opening at the end of the pyloric canal, the incredible retracting asshole is the type of person who will tell you what's on his mind, but rather than just saying it, he'll retract his statement by saying "just kidding," eventhough he's not. He knows what he's saying, and he knows exactly why he's saying it. Although you would enjoy nothing more than to watch this son of a bitch die in his sleep from smoke inhalation, part of you can't help but admite the genius of his technique. This prick has found a way to deliver his payload without any fear of retribution, like a stealth bomber under the cover of night with cloaking technology and camouflage paint and invisibility rays that it can use to shoot itself to become invisable.
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Post by Fickle81 on Mar 5, 2007 17:22:59 GMT -5
So the fucker FINALLY updated,and it's a doozy...something I've been wanting him to comment on for awhile now: www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=macs_cantI seriously don't get people who think Macs are so much better than PCs...in fact,this may come as a shock,but I've experienced more problems with Macs locking up than I have with PCs crashing,and I've been working with PCs many years longer than I have with Macs. I also have a problem with the little idiosyncrasies on Macs that don't exist on PCs...like the fact that finding a file using the Mac finder is like navigating a long and sometimes complex maze...why the fuck does it have to open a whole seperate column window to the right to expand files? Whats wrong with the PCs simple layout of going into a whole new window to view the files in a folder? And then theres the bullshit with the mouse not having right click...I don't want to hold down an extra key when I have a platform that will let me do it simply with an extra mouse button,assholes...Apple only recently offered mouses with right click capability 2 years ago (before then,you had to get Mac compatable mouses that offered right click capabilities from 3rd party companies)...way to go guys,it only took you,what...7 years to do that? Bang up job,fucknuggets...and the worst part is that there are people out there that DEFENDED Mac's stubborness to not add a second mouse button: www.gearlive.com/index.php/news/article/why-apple-makes-a-one-buttoned-mouse-01280820/Hey fuckbox...support for contextual menus ISN'T THE SAME as support for multi-button mice or right clicking...if it was,you would only be able to open and use contextual menus with right click,which Mac proved thats obviously not the case...again,to do it on a Mac,you have to hold an extra button while you click on the mouse...why do I have to do that? Just hit the right click button...no holding down any other buttons involved. I shutter to think what brillient design concepts Apple would come up with if they ever decided to get into the videogame console market...they would probably make controllers that have the joystick of an Atari 2600 and only 2 controller buttons like on an NES controller or old Gameboy when most games today require 4 buttons minimum...they'd probably come up with some shit where you hold the joystick in a certain direction while pressing a button to execute a command different from that of just pressing the button,just like the Gameboy and Game Gear did for fighting games... Thats not a reason...thats an excuse...sure the ineptatude of people that don't know what the right click button is for is annoying,but it doesn't take too much to explain it...right click opens a contextual options menu,left click selects and opens...even the slowest of people caught on when I explained it to them like that...if anything,that actually shows more of your ineptness at being able to properly and simply explain it... Fuck that,Apple's interface guidelines are shit...are those the same human-computer interaction studies that concluded that not having a right click button on the mouse was EASIER? Seriously,stop being pompous assholes and give applications their own workspace like the PC does...you can still access other shit on the computer just as easily...in a multitude of groundbreaking ways even like the minimise button or the start button... There is one thing that I will admit that a Mac does better than PC,and thats produce better quality video pieces or graphic design pieces...but thats hardly what one would call typical or "commercial" computer use,which is what the majority of people who own a computer use it for...email,web surfing,videogame playing,writting word documents,etc. Thats usually all I use my computer for anyway,with occational limited graphic design creation that I have no intension of making any money with professionally...if I want to use a Mac for that,I'll do it either at school or at work where I have Mac access...and even for work I don't need to cause I can do what I typically need to do properly on a PC. I'm not saying the PC doesn't have its problems,cause it does...but the Mac REALLY isn't that much better...at least not to the point of all the elitist bullshit that comes with it and its fans. I absolutly loved both the videos in the article...I'll start with the first one (notice that most of their reasons had to do with uses of the computer that didn't fall into the catagory of typical/commercial computer use?)...my 2 favorite assertions in that were the following: Boo fucking hoo...you know why that happened? Cause your dumbass didn't safe it often,which is WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO NO MATTER WHAT PLATFORM YOU WORK WITH. You can't find the button? Well then here,let me help your dumbass out: Step 1:You see that big "slap you in the face obvious" button that the arrow is pointing to? Yea,thats how you turn the computer on...now it may be placed on different places of the motherboard depending on the model of computer just to confuse you even more...like the computer I have it's in the center rather than on the right... Step 2:You see that button labeled "Power" in the center? Well,you press that to turn the monitor on after you press the huge button on the motherboard to turn the computer on...man,that was REALLY difficult... And if you don't know how to turn shit on,how is Mac any easier? With the Macs I've used,the button doesn't even press in all the way so you really don't know for sure it's on unless you see said button light up...so much for that bullshit reason...I seriously can't believe the depths of stupidity that people stoop to in order to explain their own bullshit logic... And of course,I could watch that second video all day because it's hilarious...
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