Post by Fickle81 on Apr 1, 2008 0:24:11 GMT -5
This is a discussion thread dedicated to fellow Scientologist telling their harrowing story about how they became a Scientologist. I’ll get things moving by telling my story.
I was walking around the hopping part of the town I live in about a month ago, when I saw a crowd gathering up at the grocery store across the street at a display table, so I decided to see what was going on. Turns out that the display table was offering free stress tests, and since I had been feeling more pressure than usual, I decided I’d go ahead and take it. Turns out, the conclusion of the test was worse than I could have possibly imagined. I was one screwed up human being. The on site test conductor said that if I paid him $200, I could schedule what’s known as an e-meter counseling session.
Now at this point it became clear that I was dealing with Scientologists, and at the time, I was strongly against the group because like all the other drooling mongoloid retards, I considered them a cult. However, the individual stressed dire seriousness in my current condition, and then gave me a pamphlet all about Scientology and insist that I read it and absorb all the information in it right then and there with him standing there. Needless to say, that pamphlet took away all my preconceived notions about Scientology and what it was all about. So I immediately went all the way back home, asked my dad to borrow $200 (which he gladly gave me because I’m his son and he gives me whatever I want or need), went back and gave it to test conductor, and he penciled me in for a 2 PM e-meter counseling session the next day.
So the next day comes and I go in at 2 PM as scheduled. The individual that I saw the day before took me into a room. The session was so intense that I actually don’t remember anything that went on in the session. Some might say that not being able to remember what went on in the session should be cause for suspicion of the practices of their sessions, but this is simply a foolish thing to believe. How do I know this? I know this because FUCK OFF OR I’LL HAVE YOU TAKEN TO COURT, that’s how I know. All I know is that when I came out, I was a changed person.
Before I went in there, I was a miserable human being whose only pleasure was making fun of people on the internet in order to soothe the pain of my pathetic situation. I was also a deep rooted pathological liar. I claimed to be a 26 year old employed male living in a house with 2 male roommates who lost his virginity in high school, when in reality I’m actually a 34 year old unemployed virgin who still lives with my daddy (yea, yea, I know I know, I’m pathetic. That doesn’t mean I won’t have you sued for mocking me). Finally, I had a really bad grasp on spelling, punctuation, and grammar (I often claimed that this was purposeful, but that was just my own defense mechanism to soften the blow when other people pointed it out). Now, ever since I had that intense session, I have improved in these areas PROFOUNDLY, and other than the occational typo here and there, I type perfectly now.
As you can see, Scientology has changed my life for the better. I feel like I have a newfound sense of power and drive. I know that as a Scientologist, when I walk by and see a burning building with people trapped inside and burning alive, I’m the only one that can help (not the firefighters already on the scene, for they are too consumed with body thetans, unless of course they are Scientologist firefighters). The unhappiness that I once had has completely washed away and the future seems bright and radiant for me.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to be heading off to bed. I have to get up early in the morning to go to the bank with my dad to take out a second mortgage on the house to help pay for classes and audit counseling, but feel free to post your own triumphant journey into the wondrous world of Scientology.
I was walking around the hopping part of the town I live in about a month ago, when I saw a crowd gathering up at the grocery store across the street at a display table, so I decided to see what was going on. Turns out that the display table was offering free stress tests, and since I had been feeling more pressure than usual, I decided I’d go ahead and take it. Turns out, the conclusion of the test was worse than I could have possibly imagined. I was one screwed up human being. The on site test conductor said that if I paid him $200, I could schedule what’s known as an e-meter counseling session.
Now at this point it became clear that I was dealing with Scientologists, and at the time, I was strongly against the group because like all the other drooling mongoloid retards, I considered them a cult. However, the individual stressed dire seriousness in my current condition, and then gave me a pamphlet all about Scientology and insist that I read it and absorb all the information in it right then and there with him standing there. Needless to say, that pamphlet took away all my preconceived notions about Scientology and what it was all about. So I immediately went all the way back home, asked my dad to borrow $200 (which he gladly gave me because I’m his son and he gives me whatever I want or need), went back and gave it to test conductor, and he penciled me in for a 2 PM e-meter counseling session the next day.
So the next day comes and I go in at 2 PM as scheduled. The individual that I saw the day before took me into a room. The session was so intense that I actually don’t remember anything that went on in the session. Some might say that not being able to remember what went on in the session should be cause for suspicion of the practices of their sessions, but this is simply a foolish thing to believe. How do I know this? I know this because FUCK OFF OR I’LL HAVE YOU TAKEN TO COURT, that’s how I know. All I know is that when I came out, I was a changed person.
Before I went in there, I was a miserable human being whose only pleasure was making fun of people on the internet in order to soothe the pain of my pathetic situation. I was also a deep rooted pathological liar. I claimed to be a 26 year old employed male living in a house with 2 male roommates who lost his virginity in high school, when in reality I’m actually a 34 year old unemployed virgin who still lives with my daddy (yea, yea, I know I know, I’m pathetic. That doesn’t mean I won’t have you sued for mocking me). Finally, I had a really bad grasp on spelling, punctuation, and grammar (I often claimed that this was purposeful, but that was just my own defense mechanism to soften the blow when other people pointed it out). Now, ever since I had that intense session, I have improved in these areas PROFOUNDLY, and other than the occational typo here and there, I type perfectly now.
As you can see, Scientology has changed my life for the better. I feel like I have a newfound sense of power and drive. I know that as a Scientologist, when I walk by and see a burning building with people trapped inside and burning alive, I’m the only one that can help (not the firefighters already on the scene, for they are too consumed with body thetans, unless of course they are Scientologist firefighters). The unhappiness that I once had has completely washed away and the future seems bright and radiant for me.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to be heading off to bed. I have to get up early in the morning to go to the bank with my dad to take out a second mortgage on the house to help pay for classes and audit counseling, but feel free to post your own triumphant journey into the wondrous world of Scientology.