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Post by Fickle81 on Jan 5, 2008 2:07:42 GMT -5
Ok folks,heres the scoopage...I used to have 2 of my own Network54 message boards roughly 6 years ago (as I've said before,Kef Chat isn't the first message board of my own that I've had). One was called the Hall of Shame,which is where I wrote about the idiots I encountered on the internet...but then there was the other one,entitled Kefka's Beef,where I would write about any subject of interest,whether it was something that pissed me off or something I would have an amusing insightful opinion on. These were all written in a "Maddoxesque" style. However,eventually I decided to delete both boards due to me not giving a shit about them anymore,and Kefka Beef was lost...until now.
I've decided to bring it back in the form of a segment on this board...only its been revamped slightly. In each and every entry of Kefka's Beef,I'm gonna talk about aspects of life that I encounter that annoy the shit out of me,and instead of writting them in the style of Maddox from The Best Page in the Universe,I've decided to instead take some influence from James Rolfe's (AKA Angry Video Game Nerd) "You Know Whats Bullshit?" YouTube series. Just like most of my other segments on this board,updates will be posted on a "when I fucking feel like it" basis.
So with that out of the way,lets kick things off...
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Post by Fickle81 on Jan 5, 2008 2:08:02 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with?
Buttons or links on porn sites for visitors who are under the age of 18 that are used to exit or navigate away from said sites. Whats the fucking point? Seriously,they don't serve any real purpose seeing as how the user could navigate away from the site by simply CLICKING THAT RED X AT THE TOP RIGHT OF THE PAGE! Not to mention in this day and age where browsers use a tab system,the user could simply close the tab. Hell,the button on the homepage of Jam-Hot.com for those who are under 18 doesn't even fucking do ANYTHING. You can click it all day long,and nothing will happen...you'll just remain on that homepage where nothing new loads up when you click the button. They should just say "if you're under the age of 18,please leave."
And what kind of fucking pussy is actually gonna click those buttons/links or not enter because they aren't 18 anyway? "Oh no,I'm not 18...I better not click the button to enter the site,or something bad might happen...could somebody please change my diaper and get me a pacifier?" Would could happen? Yea you're not 18,so what? It's not like most of the sites ask you to verify your date of birth,and even if you come across one,just imput a date that makes you look 18 or older. Whats the harm in that? It's not like they have a way to prove that some random person accessing their site through a random computer lied about their age to access a pornographic site. And even if they can,again,so fucking what? What are they gonna do? Send a covert black ops team to infiltrate your house in the middle of the night,forcefully wake you up with a machine gun in your face,place a black bag over your head,and forcefully drag you off because you accessed a pornographic site when you weren't 18? Please. It's ok wussy,nobody is gonna know you were peeking at some porn and you're not gonna get into hot water over it...you'll only get in luke warm water at the most if you're caught by a parent or school administrator...and if you're stupid enough to get caught by anybody,you don't deserve to be looking at any porn anyway.
I kinda deviated from my point there,but still...bottons and links on porn sites to navigate away from those sites are useless and a crock of shit...get rid of em.
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Post by Fickle81 on Jan 19, 2008 22:16:17 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with?
QVC and ShopNBC. They're so much fucking louder than any other channel on cable TV. Why? Do you think that making your channels louder will get more people to buy your worthless shit? Seriously,why are these channels so much louder? Why?! TELL ME!
For real,sometimes I have to turn up the volume on my television to be able to adequately hear it as I'm channel surfing,but then once I get to either of those 2 channels,I'm pratically blown all the way through the wall into the bathroom and made deaf. Of course I'm exaggerating,but it's almost 3 times louder than any other channel on TV...and for no good reason as far as I can see. Turn that shit down and be at the same volume as all the other channels. You being louder does not make me want to buy any of your crap...it makes me want to possibly block those 2 channels out of spite and to conserve my long deteriorating hearing ability.
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Post by Fickle81 on Jan 29, 2008 1:16:14 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with?
Cats. Whats my beef with them? They're fucking pricks thats what! They're pricks even when they're trying to be sweet. Sure,they'll sit in your lap and purr pleasurably as you pet them,but all the while digging their fucking claws through your pants and into your legs. I firmly believe that all domesticated household cats should have to be declawed by law.
The only thing thats even somewhat amusing about cats is their curiosity,but even then it can be annoying...cat lovers complain that dogs are stupid in comparison,but not only do I disagree with this statement,I'm convinced anybody that makes such a statement is retarded. A few years ago I was doing an internship for a small graphic design company that had a pet cat that they kept in the office. There was some instances where the cat would be looking at the computer screen at the station I was working on,and would briefly watch the mouse pointer as it moved,then even tried to swat at it with its paw. Of course,my fellow co workers kept egging it on thinking it was cute,not realising that the cat could very well scratch the monitor to complete shit.
So yea,cats suck ass,can go to hell,and I don't like em. Dogs are far better pets.
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Post by Fickle81 on Feb 15, 2008 22:34:00 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with?
Baby's bare asses being shown on TV,particularly in commercials...it would be one thing if this were done on cable channels,but I've seen it done on bare nessesity channels. Why do they show nude infant ass on TV? Cause people,particularly women,think it's cute...yep,exploiting an infant is so precious and adorable,especially when you consider the possibility of pedophiles (like say,MMS) watching and getting off on it...awwwwww...
Not to mention,isn't nudity a pretty big no no,even on regular cable TV? Didn't the FCC and CBS throw a big stink over Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" that didn't even fucking show her entire titty (her nipple was covered up)? And yet,naked baby ass is ok? Don't you think thats a bit hypocritical? What makes a naked baby more acceptable? I would think that would make it worse cause,theoretically,thats exploiting the child. While you're at it,you might as well show the child's junk or wink fish. I mean,why not? You've already shown one nude body part thats normally unacceptable under any other circumstance,so why not go all the way? Furthermore,if thats ok,then why is everything else not allowed? You can't use the "children could be watching" card anymore cause children could be watching the naked baby ass as well,so hows that any different? Nudity is nudity,it don't make a fuck how old the person is or what the nude part looks like.
I dunno about you,but if I saw myself in a commercial as a baby many years later and they showed my ass for all the world to see,I'd feel kinda violated. The only conforting thing is that my family would have gotten paid a substancial sum of money...but do families of "baby actors" even make that much money? Somehow I doubt it.
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Post by Fickle81 on Mar 10, 2008 18:01:43 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with?
Stupid motherfuckers that automatically associate any Asian movie as being Japanese. Hey,all you orifices of shit,theres some breaking developments just coming in:
JAPAN IS NOT THE ONLY ASIAN COUNTRY THAT HAS MADE POPULAR FILMS!
I mean whoda thought that other Asian countries other than Japan,such as China,Hong Kong,Taiwan,North Korea,South Korea,Vietnam,Thailand,and MANY others would be capable of producing movies that would catch the eyes of the American public? I mean,what an absurd notion...everybody knows that Japan is the only Asian country that makes movies that catch the attention of the American public. Oldboy? Oldboy is Japanese,son! EVERYBODY knows that,and if you say otherwise,you are wrong and stupid. Infernal Affairs? Yea,thats Japanese too...what rock have you been living under?
Speaking of rocks,I believe uninformed dumbasses that automatically assume that any popular Asian film is Japanese deserves to die via rocks being pelted at them. Instead of blabbing from the hip,they could just as easily take less than 2 minutes of their time to LOOK UP an Asian movie to find out what Asian country it came from. There is no excuse for their gross ignorance.
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Post by Fickle81 on Mar 17, 2008 18:41:00 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with?
The fact that my new SNES emulator runs pretty much any game just fine with hardly causing my computer any fuss (only 1 game,Star Fox,really causes all that much trouble for some reason),yet any Genesis emulator I run with any game causes my computer's fan to blaze loudly. I don't fucking get it...SNES games are both graphically superior and have much better audio than any Genesis games,yet they apparently don't take near as much effort for my computer to run.
Seriously,can somebody please explain this to me? What is the extra effort needed to run a graphically inferior product that also has inferior sound? Is it because of the blast processing? Just what the fuck IS blast processing anyway? Who are you? What are you doing here? Who am I? Why am I now asking many questions that don't even pertain to the subject? Whats a hypotonous? Who shot JR?
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Post by Fickle81 on Mar 28, 2008 20:32:27 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with?
The saying "high on life". So let me see if I understand this correctly...those who choose to get "high on life" choose to use an unjust and unfair existence that makes a habit of randomly fucking you over at the most inopportune time with seemingly no rhyme or reason behind it as their drug of choice? Yea,I think I'll take weed over that any day of the week,twice on Sunday.
And how much you wanna bet that these people who only get "high on life" are no good filthy liars? How much you wanna bet that they use something such as alcohol,nicotine,weed,prescription meds,or caffeine (people,especially straight edgers,seem to convienently forget that it TOO is a drug) as a crutch to get through the day just like pretty much everybody else?
So yea,don't fucking use the phrase "I only get high on life" around me unless you want me to expose you for the self righteous fraud you are.
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Post by Fickle81 on Mar 30, 2008 18:20:15 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with?
Motherfuckers who put periods in any place in the file name of a video file other than right before the actual file extension. People who do this should be banned from using a computer for all times. What these dipshits would realise,if they did a little bit of research BEFORE trying to type in a file name,is that periods are only to be used to seperate the file extension of the file name from the name of the file,which basically along with the actual file extension label,tells the computer what kind of file it is.
Last time I checked,there was no such fucking thing as a "001" file extension/file type (filename.avi.001). Doing this renders the file unplayable in pretty much any media player application and requires that somebody renames it (using underscores where any and all periods are other than before the file extension),but EVEN THEN the file sometimes won't play due to the intial corruption. I've already experienced quite a bit enough of waiting a long time for a much antaisapated video file to finish downloading only to find that it's unplayable because some stupid prick doesn't know how to properly name a video file. The really unfortunate thing about it is that I can't track these people down and cut off their hands so they can't use a computer anymore.
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Post by Fickle81 on Apr 23, 2008 22:01:48 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with? The fact that I have to copy and paste any new headers to not only the main header of the homepage of this board,but to the header of EVERY fucking forum in the discussion section. Why does this piss me off so much,besides the obvious fact that it's a pain in the royal ass? Behold? A fucking label for the discussion section of the board (which includes everything except Scientology Chat) is right fucking there,yet I can't simply click that,paste the new header,and thus have every single header for all the forums under that section updated at once? I mean fuck,all proboards just got an update,so why couldn't one of the new features be this quicker and more convienent way of updating headers? Why do I instead have to go through all the section's headers and update them one at a time? What a load of fucking bullshit. I mean,the label is right fucking there...just sitting there,like it's laughing at me. You think it's funny that I have to waste my time editing each individual header one at a time when you're right there and coulc be clicked to update ALL those sections simultaneously? You think thats funny,asshole?! How bout I find your family,rape your wife and mom,and kill your children and pets?! You gonna be laughing then?!? ARE YOU?!?!? Thats the price I pay for having an April Fools joke that takes up a whole nother section...
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Post by Fickle81 on Jun 11, 2008 23:04:35 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with? YouTube's new video player...whenever you access the video on the fucking site,you usually can't change the goddamn quality of the vid...the only time you can is if you're quick enough to right click right on the video spot as the page for the video is loading,but even that sometimes doesn't work...yet,the quality of any YouTube video thats embedded on another site can still be changed just fine...seriously,what the fuck? So I can change the quality of the vid if I upload it to another board or site,but NOT when watching it on YouTube directly? Yea that makes LOTS of fucking sense This harkens back to the comment I made in my Army Strong post in the random thread about more and more recent flash pieces not having the ability to change the quality...it's a fucking epidemic that is inconsiderate to all those who own older computers and needs to fucking stop. YouTube itself has just completely gone to the shitter lately...first it was putting a 10 or 11 time limit on ALL videos,reguardless of whether or not they are under the 100 MB limit...then it was taking the IratePlagerist (AKA IrateGamer),a fucking hack and ripoff of AVGN and pretty much any other bad videogame video reviewer who is stupid enough to put copyrighted shit on his DVD that he makes money off of,and elevating him to the status of YouTube partner...then it was removing Armake21's audio rant about YouTube golden boy IrateGamer which technically didn't break any community rules nor did it contain a copyright infringement...then it was banning PlayItBogart based on a copyright claim made by Take 2 and leaving him banned even after Bogart proved to them that the claim was frivolous...then it was not fixing Armake21's account after it was hacked and shutdown,thus causing him to make a new one and be subjected to their already bullshit video lengh limitation...then it was making Paul Fetch of all people,an individual that has made threatening remakes to YouTube and Google AND requested personal information about somebody that caused him to become butthurt,a fucking YouTube partner... And now this...this is just another thing in a long line of bullshit thats contributing to the gradual deterioration of the once fine establishment known as YouTube.
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Post by Fickle81 on Jun 27, 2008 18:11:04 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with? Women with either too many tattoos or tattoos in places that are absolutly flat out wrong to put a tattoo on. Seriously,what the fuck is wrong with these chicks? Do they think that shit looks attractive? Now don't get me wrong,I'm not against having no tattoos whatsoever on women...I'm not against one on each arm or forearm,one on the back as long as it's not too big,a tramp stamp,one on the ass depending on what it is and if it's not too big,one above the pussy depending on what it is and if it's not too big (I admit that Asia Argento's "Angel Pussy" tat is steamingly hot),and one on each calf or thigh depending on what it is...as long as it's not ALL of those at once,that would be on the edge of too many,and one on and/or around the vicinity of the titties and/or one on the stomach is an AUTOMATIC disqualification...a tattoo on on a woman's chest is extremely disrespectful to their chesthams. Oh yea,and no fucking tattoos of guys names unless they're dead and getting the tattoo was your way of paying tribute to their memory. I'm sorry,but I don't wanna see some dude's name tattooed on you when I'm banging you (I don't give a fuck if you're broken up/divorce). A lot of people will probably call me a no good stinking fucking liar for saying this,but Megan Fox is not attractive to me at all...because the tattoo she has of fucking Brian Austin Green makes her damaged goods. I don't care if she came up to me and said "Kefka,Kefka,I'm all yours for the weekend,please I'm begging you,trampoline fuck the dogshit out of me!" You know what my answer is gonna be? "Sorry babe,you should have thought of that before you got the name of that twerp from 90210 tattooed on you." You know her? Thats Kat Von D from LA Ink,and I would not touch her ever...why? Fucking look at her! Look at all those fucking tattoos. She looks like she should be some kind of fucking circus attraction. Thats the thing with having so many tattoos on a woman...it completely takes away a woman's femininity and makes her look like a trashy skank. And before I forget,I also have a beef with certain piercings as well,although I'm way more forgiving when it comes to those...the only thing I ask is they NOT have either of their nipples or their clit pierced. Do women honestly think that you want to taste a hunk of metal in your mouth (the only reason I'm accepting of tongue piercings is due to the felatio benefits)? Cut that and the ridiculous amount of tattoos the fuck out. I believe Thilo (AKA Ninja Pirate) hit the nail on the head when he made this visual aid that I'm gonna leave you with to intensify my point:
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Post by Fickle81 on Jul 31, 2008 18:32:56 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with? The phrase "theres plenty of fish in the sea" and the ideology behind it. You really think so? Ok...allow me to near definitivly prove how incorrect this is,but before I do I must give this disclaimer...this is from a GUY'S perspective rather from a woman's...ladies,you don't have much to worry about,and you'll see why as you read. According to the 2001 World Almanac,out of the total human population,there are 101.3 men for every 100 women. So theres already an imbalance and 1.3 men have the potential to be shit outta luck when it comes to finding that special someone...and thats not even taking into account all the other factors involved...eventhough it's probably not an accurate estimate (it could be MORE than the estimate that I'm gonna use,but probably not less than),I'm gonna go ahead and use an estimate of 10% for each of these factors: Women that aren't attracted to you in any way-10%:Lets face it guys,there are a fair share of women that are just plain out of your league. I'm sure there isn't a man alive who hasn't experienced their fair share of harsh rejection,so these women are eliminated from the count. Women you're not physically attracted to in any way-10%:No matter what anybody tells you,physical attractivness IS important...now it definatly varies how important it is from person to person,some might prefer a great personality over stuning looks,but is IS an important factor. Anybody that tells you that looks isn't an important criteria for them is a dirty liar. Call me shallow if you want,but it's the truth. And for me personally,I'm including my personal peeve of women that have too many tattoos,tattoos in horrible places,and piercings in horrible places. Women you may be physically attracted to,but don't connect with on an emotional level-10%:By this,I mean that a particular woman in question has a personality trait that you find to be a major flaw. Maybe you're an atheist or agnostic and she is a near fanatical christian. Maybe you're a proud meat eater and she is a preachy PETA-eque vegetarian. Maybe you like PCs and shes a Mac kinda girl,they could be big or small depending on preference...and thats not even including other aspects such as intelligence,taste,or conflicting personal goals. Women that are lesbians or bisexual-10%:Other than the catagory of "women that aren't attracted to you in any way",if there is one other catagory that the estimate I use is probably lower than what it really is,it's this one. Now,before you go off on me for professing the "every woman is secretly bisexual" stereotype,consider this. There was a study done to determine sexual arousal in both genders,and the results found that a majority of women who claimed to be strictly heterosexual were aroused by images of both men AND women. So yea,theres ALWAYS a potential for a strictly heterosexual woman to become bisexual and when that happens,not only will you be competing with the other 100.3 men,you'll also be competing with the women as well. And hot lipstick lesbians? You can pretty much kiss them goodbye cause they're off the table for good. Now,if you've been following along,we've already eliminated 40% of the 100 women for every 101.3 men...and if you do the math,40% from 100 is 60...so NOW you have to compete with 100.3 men for 60 women...which means that there is a potential that you may be 1 of the 40.3 men that are left to journey through the rest of their lives alone...and if 40.3 is the number in extremely condensed terms,I shudder to think about the amount it becomes when you apply that to the real population amount...and I'm even leaving out OTHER factors,such as women that are already taken and women you've already been with and it didn't work out. Now some of you may be thinking "Who cares? Why think about all that over a piece of ass?" I'm not talking about scoring booty,I'm talking about finding somebody to be in a meaningful long term relationship with. If all I wanted was a piece of ass,if you think about it,theres really no point in putting in all that effort macking on and spittin game to some fine looking thing,which could have a high potential to be wasted and all for nothing,when there are women you can pay to give you what you're after that you don't have to impress or woo...hell,you don't even have to talk to them after the deed is done...these women are called prostitutes,AKA hookers,AKA whores,AKA working girls...but then again,theres the high STD rate and severe lack of treading,not to mention the fact that it's illegal...and yea,I didn't include them in the overall ratio of women to men either,so that could further fuck things up. So please spare me your transparent optimism in an attempt to instill me with a false sense of security...I'm a realist,and unfortunatly,the reality is grimmer than the people who use this phrase would like you to believe. Think I'm alone in believing this? Think again. I'm not so much complaining that dating is a game or a competition,cause without competition,all life on this planet would cease to be...but that doesn't mean I want my head to be filled with bullshit like "the one you're destined to be with IS out there and you WILL find them" either. For all I know,I've already been with "the one" and foolishly fucked it up by allowing myself to be led on by another who I thought was "the one"...but thats a whole nother can of worms altogether. In conclusion,the phrase and ideology of "there are plenty of fish in the sea" is a crock of steaming camel shit,and stay the fuck out of my booze (Simpsons reference FTW).
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Post by Fickle81 on Aug 29, 2008 18:04:34 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with?
Mosaic censoring in Japanese pornography...seriously,what the fuck is this shit all about? For those that don't know what I'm ranting about,all male and female genitalia in Japanese porn is blured out with small and pixelated mosaic squares (unless a particular porn film was meant for foreign distribution).
What fucking sense does this make? Here we have a country that is pretty well known for making feature lengh narrative films that tend to contain so much gory,disgusting,and shocking material that the only way they could be released in American cinemas without an NC-17 rating is if they're cut to the point of being completely neutered,yet they CENSOR any and all instances of genitalia being shown on the screen during a porn film? Am I the only one that sees this as extremely hypocritical?
And whats worse,the U.S. is the exact opposite of that...we damn sure don't block out instances of genitalia being shown on the screen during a porno,yet we expect our feature lengh narrative films being released in cinemas to adhere to a code of ethics with what can and can't be shown on the big screen. What a crock of steaming bullshit.
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Post by Fickle81 on Sept 24, 2008 20:17:19 GMT -5
You know what I have a beef with?
Hotmail...in particular,not being able to stop the fucking Windows Live Hotmail service announcements from going in my goddamn inbox. They fucking send emails pretty much every other week,and it's annoying...I check my mail thinking that MAYBE somebody has actually sent me something of value,only to find that it's another goddamn fucking WLH service announcement email...and a lot of these fucking announcements are worthless tutorials that I either already know how to do or just plain don't give a shit about.
But the worst fucking thing about it is that you can't stop them from coming no matter what you do. Putting the email addresses used to send them on your blocked list doesn't do a damn thing,and even picking the "exclusive" junk email filter option won't work either,as it flat out says that you'll still recieve these so called "service announcements". If you HAVE to get these notices and theres no way to stop them,why couldn't they have made a seperate fucking inbox for which to store these fucking service announcements rather than having them flood my normal inbox and instilling me with a false hope of interesting correspondence? What a bunch of inconsiderate discourteous cocksuckers.
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